Yesterday was a Sunday, everyone around has gone to one religious gathering or another, I purposely waited behind. Around 12noon, I heard a knock on my door, I hastened to check out on who the person was. As expected, it was Ammy, she was my reason for staying back, She was wrapped into my arms as she entered.
“Welcome dearie, what took you so long” I queried. She started with a flimsy excuse I never even cared to listen to, as she spoke, she’s getting undressed, jumped on bed ready for action, that sexy loins I couldn’t resist was again revealed.
‘O my goodness!’ was the alarm in my thought.
I looked into my purse, once again I’ve exhausted the contraceptive sleeves, I reached out for my wardrobe, I should have over a hundred therein, unfortunately, I rummaged the whole enclosure like some immigration officers looking for smuggled goods in a cargo. Then I remembered Tobi -‘the bad boy’, he has been frequenting my room, recently,
“Oh! I’m doomed! All of my condom is gone” I shouted, Ammy who was dying for action sneered in my direction, a look that says,
“O boy! You’re wasting my time”
I locked the wardrobe, adjusting my trousers trying to go out…She said,
“Hello T-boy, where are you going? ” with a betraying look.
“I need to get a protective cover, ASAP… I exhauste……”, I didn’t finish those words before she charged at me, tore my trousers and that is the end of the story.
I slept immediately after the action film, real definition of exhaustion, Ammy is an amazon, a female warrior.
However, the reason why I’m sharing this is that, I slept, dreamt of Ammy carrying my baby, I woke up, shouted
“God forbid!” How could Ammy be carrying my baby, Ammy ‘olosho‘ a slut.
I woke up, then had another sleep around 6p.m. by 6:30p.m. the dream was back, this time, Ammy entered as I was sleeping telling me She’s pregnant, showing me a protuding stomach. I woke up immediately, sweating, what sort of rubbish dream is this, I frowned at no one but my conscience. I slept again in the night, I woke up almost six times before daybreak, having a break per dream of the same type. Ammy in a wedding gown, Ammy with a protuding tummy. Ammy this, Ammy that. The last I had was around 4:30a.m. then I decided not to sleep again, I soliloqued,
“Is Ammy mad ni??? I won’t sleep for three days if that is what it would take”.
I have the intention of calling her this morning, telling her the best abortion mixture to use, but suddenly around 6a.m. I saw her message which reads,
“I enjoyed being with you, I wish I had a baby for you, good morning love”.
I screamed, “Yeeeeeepa! Almighty save me o! I don’t want Ammy o! ”
My family rushed into my room, checking out on me, asking for what has gone wrong, I couldn’t talk, sweating, I managed to tell then it was a bad dream.
Since morning, I’ve been trying to reach out to Ammy telling her the dangers involved with getting pregnant for me, maybe I should just invite her over and give her the abortion mixture to drink. A slight mistake has cost me this rubbish, why would I have consented without a rubber, stupid sensual mood.
Moral of the story: Yoruba will say, “Tooh bahti ready, ma redi”
“If you’re not ready, abstain totally”
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